Finding Something Almost Forgotten

Hello Monsters! Its 4am here, and I know I should probably be asleep right now but since I slept in the evening due to extreme boredom, I felt no tendency to sleep. Wish I could speak with my boy some more but he's got MUET in the morning. So wouldn't want him to be half awake for that. So here I am. Writing... Okay, what in the world must I write about at such a weird time.
You know for a girl that's always been writing about depression and how suckish this life sometimes may be, I finally found a new hope. Almost something that I've forgotten. Care.

What was care? I almost forgot about that word. Though its everywhere. I barely saw it. I neglected its presence. But something just struck me. Needless those people who pretended that they care about you, there are still people out there that truly actually truly DO care. Because surprisingly no matter how small the number might be, THEY are still there. Number isn't a question if you compare to how much love is given out compared to having many people but not much love in it. Get what I'm saying? Through my eighteen years and nine days, I guess I finally know how to finally differentiate that. You know just sometimes, you don't need to have many people in your life just to be where you are now. I've learnt that in life, sometimes, you just gotta know who to be close to and who not to be. I'm not saying its wrong to have many friends, well heck, the more the merrier. Its just that you gotta choose certain people to permanently keep, and know the others are just for some period.

Do you know how overwhelming it is to have people coming forward to you, saying they'll always have your back no matter what especially when you almost felt like you've nobody else anymore. Feeling like hey, I'm gonna have to face this alone and no, no one should be dragged down with me, but then knowing that you don't have to. Its just indescribably eye watering. You don't ask for the support but its just there. It has ALWAYS been there but you just don't notice it.

I couldn't be anymore thankful now to Allah SWT for showing me something that could have so much impact that I barely even noticed. The tests he's given me Alhamdulillah made me more alert about things I never even knew. Atleast now I have so many reasons to smile and laugh about. I just gotta take whats been given and thank God for everything. I almost forgot about the real meaning of 'caring'. This is all good now :)

Going through my Tumblr dashboard and Twitter timeline seeing such depressing and sad posts in the past would encourage me to re-blog or re-tweet. But now seeing them, I smile and continue to scroll down. Its a new step forward. Not another step back. Am I afraid, yes. Sometimes. But that's okay. I'm just being careful. This is new and who knows hopefully it'll be the best for me :')

That is all for this time. Will write more soon. (InsyaAllah) Have a pleasant night everybody ♥

*new blog song Monsters. Enjoy ;)